Raise your glass! It's the 2014 Academy Awards Drinking Game!
Roll out the red carpet – it’s that time of the year once again, the culmination of an awards season notable for its tight races, the ascension of fashion goddess Lupita Nyong’o, and Pharrell Williams’ awesome Mountie hat... Ladies and Gentleman, it’s Academy Awards time!
Lupita Nyong'o rocks the silhouette dress and shows no fear with color!!! All hail the queen! Pharrell's mountie hat needs no introduction... All hail the king!
This will be my first Oscar night in years that I’ve spent away from the old Happy Hour Tour HQ smack-dab in the middle of Hollywood! How I’ll miss the buzzing helicopters circling the Kodak (now Dolby) Theatre less than a mile away and the man selling counterfeit Academy Awards T-shirts as JG and I walked to The Woods after the show! But this year – I’ve got this drinking game and these helicopter sound effects to keep me happily buzzed and buzzing!
BLUE JASMINE Jello Shots and HER Favorite Cosmopolitan!
While I’ll be drinking BLUE JASMINE Jello Shots and HER Favorite Cosmopolitans in Milwaukee and JG will be enjoying the company of the Windy City Bloggers, you too can play along at home with a nice sparkling wine and caviar (or Texas Caviar)!
All right, all right, all right…* Let’s get this party started! Take a drink:
1) Anytime a wild card nominee wins!
This year’s races are tight – with typical Oscar predictors like the Producers and Directors Guild Awards honoring two front-runners – GRAVITY and 12 YEARS A SLAVE. Don’t discount the crowd-pleasing AMERICAN HUSTLE which isn’t far behind.
Babes Chris Hemsworth and (Academy President) Cheryl Boone Isaacs reveal the Best Actor Nominees back on January 16th.
Tight races open the door for anything happening, which means we could be seeing some wild card wins!
2) Anytime someone breaks out into song or dance!
Change the title of this show to “There Will Be Singing and Dancing.” What do you get when you mix producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron (responsible for bringing us CHICAGO, HAIRSPRAY, and “Smash” and the recent “Sound of Music Live!”) with happily dancing host Ellen DeGeneres and recently announced presenters Bette Midler, Anne Hathaway, and Pink? Lots of singing and dancing!
Judging by this promo alone - we can expect a musical kind of show!
Did I mention the show will also feature tributes to heroes in the movies (jazz hands, Norma Rae, I said jazz hands!!) and the 75th Anniversary of THE WIZARD OF OZ? Don’t forget the Oscar nominated “Best Song” performances. Good luck getting FROZEN’s “Let it Go” song out of your head!
Get your tippity-tap-tap-tap shoes ready and take a drink because a) you love musicals so much you can’t contain your excitement or b) you can’t stand musicals and it’s either take a drink or leave the room.
3) Anytime Ellen or any presenters poke fun at any of the extreme make-up or fashions of this year’s nominees.
What did you get a bigger kick out of – the spectacle of Jonah Hill’s massive chompers in THE WOLF OF WALL STREET, the nouveau-retro high-waisted pants from HER, or AMERICAN HUSTLE’S hair-as-character-development combovers, perms, and sultry waves?
Quirky Oscar Fashions, Dentistry, and Hair - don't mess with the hair!
Given the solemnity of some of the nominated films and the reliably depressing “In Memoriam” tribute, the Oscars love to bring levity to the show whenever they can. This often occurs by making fun of the outrageous stylings of the nominated films – either during the host’s introduction or visual sight gags that move the show along.
3b) On the topic of extreme make-up, take two drinks if anyone who has anything to do with JACKASS wins an Academy Award!
Shut it down, we can all go home for the future is here and it is bleak. Just kidding – BAD GRANDPA is somewhat deservedly nominated for Best Makeup and Hairstyling, though DALLAS BUYER’S CLUB is a safer bet to take home the Oscar.
Yes, we live in a world where a Johnny Knoxville movie could win an Oscar!
4) Anytime someone gets played off the stage during an acceptance speech.
With so many golden statues to hand out in so little time, expect some Oscar winners to get played off the stage. Let’s hope they don’t use the JAWS theme song to cut this year’s winners off as they did last year – that sh*t was embarrassing and awkward for everyone, including those of us watching at home. Take a drink to numb the awkwardness.
Not only was Cuba Gooding Jr.'s "I Love You" speech in his win for JERRY MAGUIRE an expression of genuine joy, he also showed future winners how to get the crowd off their feet as you get played off the stage!
5) Anytime a winner seems genuinely grateful to win the Oscar!
I get it. Winning an Academy Award is the highest achievement in the entertainment industry. But I also understand the criticism that the show is the industry’s celebration of self-importance. That’s why I love a truly genuine acceptance speech (or those actors who can make it seem genuine – I mean they win the award for acting, right?!) with shout-outs to family, higher powers, the true-life characters who lived the roles, etc. Even if the winners forget to thank their people, it’s all the more realistic.
As always, drink safely and enjoy the show! And share your favorite Oscar moments with us on our Facebook wall – facebook.com/TheHappyHourTour!
Just keep livin’!*
*The wise words of nominee (and current awesome-est person on HBO), Matthew McConaughey.
The Academy seems to be poking fun at their image this year with hilarious Instagram pics like the one above. Follow them @theacademy.
And follow us at @thehappyhourtour :)!
And follow us at @thehappyhourtour :)!